“From the Heart” teaching by Drs. Rodney & Adonica Howard-Browne.
And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him. 18 Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them. Colossians 3:17-19 AMP
Doing “everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” means bringing honor to Him in every aspect and activity of your daily life. You are a representative of the Lord Jesus Christ and you represent Him everywhere you go and in everything you do! Even and especially in your home! The “do everything in His Name” rule applies to husbands and to wives in the context of their marriage and family as much as it does to outside of the home. Husbands and wives have a specific role and specific function in the home, two working together as one, to accomplish the same goal – a blessed and godly family. It’s not a competition to see who’s smarter or better, but it is a team effort toward the same end result.
Husbands are instructed to love their wives with the agape love of God. Not mere selfish human love, but unselfishly and unconditionally. They are called and ordained by God, to be the head of, and the leader in, their homes. Every endeavor needs a head or a leader. Just as the human body has one head, so also the Body of Christ has one leader, Jesus Christ, and the family has one leader, the husband and father. As the saying goes, “Anything with no head is a monster and anything with two heads is a freak!” In order to have order in the family, as in anything else, there needs to be one head. God made us and He says that this responsibility belongs to the husband. Therefore, if a wife will honor God in her own life and respect His word, she will be content to allow, support, and encourage her husband to be the head of the family that God intended him to be.
In this passage in Colossians, mentioned above, and the next few verses after that, Paul gives the rules for three sets of household relationships – a) husbands and wives; b) parents and their children; and c) masters and slaves, or servants. Each category has mutual responsibilities – to love and to submit; to encourage and to obey; to work hard and to be fair. We must measure ourselves against God’s standards, and work to make sure that our life and relationships line up with His word. A godly marriage involves mutual submission, submitting ourselves to the lordship of Jesus Christ, and subordinating our own personal desires for the good of the ones we love. Marriage is not 50-50, it is 100-100! When we each put our spouse first, then we can’t help but have a successful marriage. The same goes for children. Raising a successful, happy family requires a great deal of unselfishness and sacrifice on the part of the parents. You put their welfare above your own. God also put our welfare above His own when He gave up his only begotten Son on our behalf!
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). 22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. 24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:21-24 AMP
The word “submit” or “submission” means: to subordinate yourself; to put under; to be under obedience; to give over or yield to the power or authority of another; to defer to another’s judgment, opinion, decision. Men were created by God to be focused, to make decisions easily and to be natural leaders. Women were created by God to be very adaptable and flexible. Every team needs a captain. The team is lost without a captain to pull it all together, but a captain would be nothing without his players. If a team needs leaders and followers, if a business needs leaders and followers, then so does a family. In God’s eyes neither one is less than the other. When each takes their place with humility and grace, they are all together a powerful and successful team.
The devil has tried to make women feel inferior to men. When they do then they either become doormats or they fight so hard to show that they are equal or better than men that they lose sight of the beautiful gift of God that they are to their husband and family. Being the vice-captain of your team is not a more lowly job, it is a very important supportive position. The husband is there to cover, defend and protect his wife, and the wife is there to nurture, support and encourage her husband. Submission is not a dirty word. It is a collaborative and cooperative word. They say that behind every successful man there is a great woman and that is the truth. The virtuous woman, in Proverbs 31, is the ideal wife that the wise man seeks and hopes to find.
Proverbs 31:11-12 says that the virtuous wife’s husband trusts in her confidently, relies on her, and believes in her and is secure in the knowledge that she will do him only good, as long as there is life within her! He can trust her with his money; he can trust her with his children, with his heart and with his life. She is his comforter and encourager. Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would be our comforter, standby and help. As women, we are created, ordained, and anointed, by God to fulfill this great earthly role in our husband’s life! It is not a burden, but it is a privilege! Proverbs 31:23 says that the virtuous woman’s husband is known in the city’s gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. In other words, he has a prominent place in the community – he is a successful man – and she has a huge part in that.
A woman who takes her rightful place – as a strong, secure woman – under the headship and leadership of her husband is not a weak woman. She is a woman of strong character and a woman who pleases God.
A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4 AMP